Thank you so much for giving my dilemma some thought.
Hmm, I didn’t know that about how teenagers were encouraged to write at school. I guess it wasn’t like that when I went to school – in Finland. Now I’m curious to check my very earliest writing. At least the “novel” I wrote when I was ten was in the third person, just like my very first fanfic (thirty years later), the post-OotP Remus novel!
I was somehow aware of the bias before my hiatus, too, but because HP fandom in general and R/S fandom were active, I had my readership, and I thought it was rather small also because I wrote borderline gen/slash and never sex. Now I even write sex, but for instance in Sirius Black Fest I got no comments and no kudos for my first-person R/S fic, and I think none of the kudos I’ve got afterwards is from fest participants, and most of it from people who are not HP writers.
Yes, I have some third-person Wolfstar fic, also some with James/Lily, too. In R/S Small Gifts I noticed that two or three sign-ups included first person as “do not want”, and I ruled out those as giftees and also chose to write in third person. Then I wrote three bonus gifts in first person, and (after at least six people had read and liked my official offering) only the mods commented on one of those, and only one of the giftees (and I suspect she didn’t read the whole fic – but that’s my paranoia now!)
While I was experiencing this rejection, I discussed the use of first person on my journal, here. And enjoyed finally having some more interaction in the fandom again. You’ve seen how much I love talking about stories and writing and not only mine, and I miss mutual reviewing and think I’d have something to offer. After expecting some reciprocity, I’ve spent a big part of this fest season struggling against such fears that there’s something seriously flawed in my fic, so that people who have all but promised to read something by me end up back-clicking in embarrassment. That’s why I’m perhaps going overboard with my rambling when someone’s finally found even brilliance in fic by me.
I wonder if I should just go back to writing in isolation (even though my ideal is that art is finalised only by active recipients), now that you’ve helped me still believe in how I’m doing it. Or is it worth still trying something. Founding a community for reccing fic that suffer from discrimination? Perhaps not :) Perhaps just… I’d be happy to read and review more by you, and perhaps if you have time, you could read another fic by me.
no subject
Hmm, I didn’t know that about how teenagers were encouraged to write at school. I guess it wasn’t like that when I went to school – in Finland. Now I’m curious to check my very earliest writing. At least the “novel” I wrote when I was ten was in the third person, just like my very first fanfic (thirty years later), the post-OotP Remus novel!
I was somehow aware of the bias before my hiatus, too, but because HP fandom in general and R/S fandom were active, I had my readership, and I thought it was rather small also because I wrote borderline gen/slash and never sex. Now I even write sex, but for instance in Sirius Black Fest I got no comments and no kudos for my first-person R/S fic, and I think none of the kudos I’ve got afterwards is from fest participants, and most of it from people who are not HP writers.
Yes, I have some third-person Wolfstar fic, also some with James/Lily, too. In R/S Small Gifts I noticed that two or three sign-ups included first person as “do not want”, and I ruled out those as giftees and also chose to write in third person. Then I wrote three bonus gifts in first person, and (after at least six people had read and liked my official offering) only the mods commented on one of those, and only one of the giftees (and I suspect she didn’t read the whole fic – but that’s my paranoia now!)
While I was experiencing this rejection, I discussed the use of first person on my journal, here. And enjoyed finally having some more interaction in the fandom again. You’ve seen how much I love talking about stories and writing and not only mine, and I miss mutual reviewing and think I’d have something to offer. After expecting some reciprocity, I’ve spent a big part of this fest season struggling against such fears that there’s something seriously flawed in my fic, so that people who have all but promised to read something by me end up back-clicking in embarrassment. That’s why I’m perhaps going overboard with my rambling when someone’s finally found even brilliance in fic by me.
I wonder if I should just go back to writing in isolation (even though my ideal is that art is finalised only by active recipients), now that you’ve helped me still believe in how I’m doing it. Or is it worth still trying something. Founding a community for reccing fic that suffer from discrimination? Perhaps not :) Perhaps just… I’d be happy to read and review more by you, and perhaps if you have time, you could read another fic by me.