necessarian | [Archiving] Avoiding Epithets 101

Originally posted: 29.11.'15

Epithets are one of the most contentious issues in fanfiction communities. An epithet is something like “the boy who lived,” but the form you’ll most commonly see in fic is “the brown-haired girl” or “the blue-eyed boy” or, perhaps the most famous example, “the bluenette.”

I strongly advocate against the use of epithets in fiction. They’re a rhetorical construction, and so their natural home is in articles and speeches, and other forms of persuasive writing. In fiction, they’re distracting and take away from a story’s flow. The reader’s eye is drawn to anything unusual. This is why you don’t notice pronouns or words like “said,” but epithets and words like “enunciated” stand out.

So, do you really need to use an epithet? Especially in fanfiction, you can trust your reader to know what a character looks like or to identify them by their name/pronouns. To me, the use and misuse of epithets is inherently tied to narrative voice. My advice is that every time you use an epithet, think about point of view.

If your POV is…

… first person: don’t use that epithet! Do not! If Ron is talking to Harry, would he be thinking of Harry as the boy who lived? No! He’d be thinking of his mate Harry. When he describes his conversation to Hermione later, would he say, “And then the raven-haired, bespectacled one said… ”? No! No-one thinks like that. Keep epithets out of first person.
… third person omniscient: don’t use that epithet! Third person omniscient means your narrative voice knows everything. If you’re introducing a character for the first time, by all means, describe them a bit. But because your narrative voice knows everything, your narrative voice also knows this character’s name and pronouns. You can start off with pronouns and then bring in their name a little later for dramatic impact. There are plenty of ways to play around with introducing characters in third person omniscient without using epithets.
… third person indirect: reconsider that epithet! If you’re writing in third person indirect, your narration mirrors the thoughts of your POV character. You can’t give away anything your POV character knows, and similarly, everything your POV character knows should be clear for the reader to know too. Does Ron know Harry’s name? Yes? Excellent. Don’t use that epithet. There is of course an exception to this: Harry goes to a coffee shop and you’re writing from the POV of the Muggle serving him. He’s not famous here, and they don’t know his name. How would the Muggle describe him? Would they say, “the green-eyed young man?” Probably not. Think about how your POV character speaks before using an epithet. Lots of epithets feel like unreasonably elevated language compared to the tone of the writing around them, because they’re so descriptive and clinical. If you absolutely have to use an epithet, make sure it feels natural. Get a friend to look over it for you to double-check.
… second person: why are you writing in second person? Well, if you are, second person is roughly analogous to third person indirect, so the same ideas apply. Oh, and since it’s second person, good luck!